


To Tell the Truth

by nikogio



Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Oneshot, cute and ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26516116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikogio/pseuds/nikogio
Summary: When the guys decide to come clean with the boss, it’s bound to go awry.
Relationships: Perry Cox & John "JD" Dorian, Perry Cox/John "JD" Dorian
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	To Tell the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This is a oneshot I mostly finished when I was stuck with “When I Needed You,” but now that that’s all through I decided to come back and polish this one up! Initially it was going to be a part of that series, but the voice and style very quickly became something else entirely and it was apparent that it wouldn’t fit. Aside from that, the POV change would have been a bit jarring. Either way, this was something very different for me and it was a blast to write! Thanks so much for reading my silly little fics.

John Dorian leaned against the railing of the Sacred Heart Hospital entryway, his eyes scanning to the top floor. It seemed much taller and more menacing than he’d remembered it being a week ago. A row of windows arranged themselves into a threatening snarl and the young doctor shuddered. 

_OK, you can do this_ , he urged himself weakly. Just then, a second John Dorian appeared in front of him.

“Come on, man, you’ve walked through these doors millions of times! What’s the big deal?” 

“The _big deal_ , Mister Cool-and-Collected, is that today Perry and I are going to tell people that we’re, you know, _together_ ,” the original Dorian whined. “I haven’t been this terrified since my first code.”

“Well,” the clone offered, adjusting his shiny black Ray-Bans, “eventually you left that supply closet. Now you’re just coming out of a slightly less literal—and significantly gayer closet!” he chirped.

JD frowned and opened his mouth to protest, when a hand clamped firmly over his shoulder and caused his heart to leap a few dozen yards skyward. 

“Didn’t mean to startle you there, Newbie,” Perry Cox grinned. “You ready to talk to Kelso?”

“Kelso?!” exclaimed the Dorian Double, his leather jacket trembling. “Yeah, you’re on your own, buddy.” 

And with that, he dove off the ramp headlong into some bushes. JD shook his head and turned to face the older man beside him.

“Of course I’m ready,” he croaked, betrayed by a voice quite reminiscent of his pubescent years.

“Sure, sure,” Dr. Cox replied quietly. “Is that why you keep glancing over at the shrubbery? Tell the truth, Newbie, was it the guitar-playing guy or the one from _What’s Happening_?”

“Neither,” JD moaned. “It was my Cool Confident Clone, and he is neither confident nor cool about any of this. 

Perry sighed gently and slid his hand from JD’s shoulder to cradle his chin. 

“Look, Kid, I was serious when I said I could tell Kelso alone. You really don’t have to be there if you think it’ll be easier on you.” 

“Thanks, Per,” the younger man frowned, “but I feel like it’s only fair for me to be there too. I know you act like it’s not a big deal for you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be a little freaked. I mean, he’s your boss too, and he doesn’t exactly crap rainbows when he sees you.” 

The corners of Perry’s mouth upturned just slightly at the notion. 

“Besides,” the younger man continued, “if he does have a problem with it, I’d rather be there. That way we can at least have incredibly kinky sex on his desk before we get arrested for braining him with his own golf clubs.”

“Now that is hard to argue with,” Perry decided without much contemplation. “So long as we wait to brain him until after the sex. I mean honestly, what is even the point if he’s already unconscious?” 

* * *

“Bobb-o! You’re looking surprisingly human today! Satan renew your contract, did he?”

“A bit early to be drinking, wouldn’t you say, Perry?” Bob Kelso deadpanned as he thumbed through a stack of papers.

“Actually sir,” JD interjected nervously. “I _have_ been known to have one or two Breakfastinis on my days off.” Cox and Kelso both grimaced.

“Ah, Dorian, you’re here too. Splendid.” Their boss’s words dripped with sarcasm. “And to think I was going to have to waste my good graces on Ted over here.” 

He gestured to the far corner of the office, where the haggard, perpetually sweat-drenched attorney was unwrapping a steaming cafeteria breakfast sandwich. 

“Over the trash, Teddy,” Kelso warned. “One drop of sauce from that and I’ll make sure you spend your next twenty weekends licking the stain off the carpet.” 

Ted waved meekly with his free hand and the four men watched as a greasy disk of sausage slid from between the buns and into the garbage pail at his feet.

“Awwwwwwwwww,” he moaned with palpable grief, rubbing a greasy hand across his scalp.

Kelso rolled his eyes and gestured to the two chairs opposite his own. The two doctors obliged wordlessly. 

“And what favor are you hoping your transparent ass-kissing will grant you today?” 

JD gripped both arms of his chair and raised himself up slightly.

“You can’t prove you saw any of that!” The young resident exclaimed defensively.

“Easy there, Skip.” Perry placed a hand on JD’s knee. “He’s asking why we’re kissing _his_ ass.”

“Oh, right.” The younger man exhaled shakily. “That other thing didn’t happen. What other thing? There was no other thing—“ 

“ _Newbie_ ,” Dr. Cox growled through his clenched jaw.

JD’s eyes locked onto Perry’s and their petrified gazes traveled down to Perry’s hand on his knee. Perry quickly withdrew the errant hand and cringed as Dr. Kelso‘s face illuminated with understanding.

“Well!” Kelso bellowed. “Isn’t _this_ a sight for previously undamaged eyes! Teddyboy! _Please_ won’t you come over here and start explaining to these two idiots just how many ways this could bite us in the legal derrière.”

JD’s already horrified expression reached a new level of terror and, unblinking, he quickly grabbed Perry’s hand and repositioned it back onto his knee. Perry, whose lips were pressed into an impossibly thin line, gave a gentle squeeze of acknowledgement, but said nothing. 

“Uh, right. The legal _derrière_ ,” Ted quavered. “You know, I think there are some recent _derrière_ precedents, so I’m just going to go brush up on them and I’ll get right back to you,” he managed while edging toward the door. 

The three doctors sighed in unison.

“‘Derrière’ means ‘ass’—” piped up an increasingly agitated Dr. Cox. “—You horse’s derrière.”

JD snickered in spite of himself and couldn’t help but briefly imagine being deposed in court by a horse’s rear end, complete with its own black robe and powdered wig. However, Dr. Kelso cleared his throat with impressive force, and the daydream abruptly vanished in a puff of equestrian legalese. 

“Ted, why don’t you go get another sandwich,” implored the senior doctor.

“Aww, thank you sir!” Ted reached for the doorknob.

“For me, you numbskull.”

“Awwww,” the attorney whined before exiting.

“Okay, you two, listen up.” Kelso announced. He folded his hands on his desk, eyes darting between the two other men as he spoke. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told my son Harrison when he brought his ‘roommate’ to a third consecutive Thanksgiving: Whatever you do on your time is your own business, but when you’re here you are here to work. Do I make myself clear?”

“Wait, your son works for you?” JD pondered aloud.

“Mm, see, we give the gardeners off for all the major holidays and _someone_ needs to keep Enid’s rose bushes trimmed. Now, if you interrupt me again I’ll make sure you two end up spending your honeymoon at a dermatology convention in Arkansas,” Kelso smiled coldly. “And as for your current working relationship—Doctor Dorian, you will be assigned a different Attending. Perry, well, Doctor Dorian won’t be under your purview any longer.” Dr. Cox frowned at JD’s pained expression. 

“Now come on, Bobberino. Is that really necessary? We can keep it professional,” he argued. Dr. Kelso rolled his eyes and nodded toward JD’s lap, where his and Perry’s hands rested, fingers now tightly interlaced.

“Fair point,” Perry conceded. Then he turned to JD. “Think you can survive without me, there, Doctor Dorian? Wait, better question. Do you think your patients can?” He smirked and elbowed JD in the ribs. The younger doctor smiled sadly and paused for a moment before looking back at Kelso.

“Can we still eat lunch together?” He asked hopefully.

“We don’t even do that now, Newbie,” Dr. Cox pointed out.

“Well if I can’t be your resident anymore then maybe we should!” JD exclaimed.

“Okay!” interrupted a reddening Kelso. “Both of you get the hell out of my office before you bore me into a coma. This place is short on beds as it is.”

The two men nearly leapt from their chairs. Cox opened the door for JD, who enlisted every ounce of self-restraint not to all-out sprint to the safety of the empty hallway. Just before Dr. Cox shut the door, Kelso called after him.

“Say, Perry.”

“What is it now, Bob?” he sighed wearily, running a hand down his face.

“Dorian is a good kid.” His voice had a rare note of softness to it. 

“Yeah, he is,” Perry agreed.

“Try not to mess him up too bad, will ya?” 

Perry cocked a bewildered eyebrow, lowered it again, and sighed deeply.

“God help me, Bob. I’m just hoping I haven’t already.”

And with that, Perry closed the door and jogged a few paces to catch up with his companion.

“What was that about?” JD inquired as they awaited the elevator.

“Nothing, really.” Perry smiled. “He just wanted to make sure you’re in this relationship of your own free will. You know, Stockholm Syndrome being what it is.” 

The accompanying wink made JD’s heart flutter and he realized he could not foresee a time when it wouldn’t. 

“Really?” JD grinned. “I wouldn’t have thought he cared.”

Perry shrugged and the two doctors stepped into the arriving elevator.

“I don’t know what to tell ya, Kid. I say let’s just take the win.”

As the doors slid closed, an orderly passed by wheeling a stretcher. JD caught a glimpse of his leather-clad clone, twigs and brush jutting out from his head, grinning coolly and offering a double thumbs up. 

“You’re right, Perry,” JD conceded. “I mean, I guess stranger things have happened.”


End file.
